Dear Dayna,

I usually wanted to check-out a lesbian bar, but i am nervous that I am not cool enough. The way you speak about it’s very remarkable and enjoyable and stunning, but I’m terrified I’m also introverted regarding scene. And even if I might get myself personally to a bar, In my opinion i might purge easily tried to strike on a female. I absolutely need to go out and make friends and discover a girlfriend, but my personal social stress and anxiety helps to keep getting in ways. Preciselywhat are ideas for an initial time nerdy lesbian?

– Lesbian Urkle

Dear Lesbian Urkle,

I may experience the honor of giving advice as a lesbian intercourse and matchmaking blogger, but oh honey!
We panic my personal means through existence
, and that means you’ve arrive at the right spot for support. Though i will be a nervous hottie, we however frequently go out, generate and connect. How, you ask? Follow these basic steps: Have a look stunning, beverage and push you to ultimately speak with strangers.

First circumstances initial:
You may need a new getup
. I won’t lay to you personally —
yes, lesbian taverns could be daunting.
Certainly, the scene can feel slightly cliquish. Indeed, girls tend to be hot and dressed impeccably. But you understand what otherwise? Those same women tend to be people like everyone else and me. They can be off to have fun just like you and me.  And they’re probably cruising for gender just like you and me. Do you know what otherwise?
You may be as cool and swaggy if you tackle your own anxiety.

When you have scored a hot brand new outfit (might I suggest black trousers and a leather jacket to experience it traditional lez sophisticated?), it is advisable to drink. I never stated this was healthier guidance! I’m a nightlife lez, not a fitness lez. Ingesting loosens you upwards, reduces the inhibitions and heightens your own confidence. But try not to drink too much. You might think you may have social anxiousness now, woman? It’s absolutely nothing set alongside the crushing-chest-head-fog-panic-shame-spiral you are going to feel in the event that you get up the next day perhaps not remembering yesterday. You have got a five-drink max, hottie.

More significant than drinking has been wonderful. We used to develop into major mean-girl-mode as a defense process for how insecure I found myself feeling. I would scowl at anyone that looked at myself. I acted like I happened to be too good to talk to visitors. Today Im usually cheerful and say to hi everyone. It really is much easier and a lot more fun. I understand it really is tempting to put your tough-babe armour on if you are feeling nervous, but becoming prone and type is a much better option to socialize and savor your self.

Living my fab existence has taught me an incredibly thing: It’s not that significant. Like, there’s nothing. Specially night life! Every day life is small. Nothing you are doing will truly make a difference (okay, today the Jenny Schecter in me is coming , slice the nihilism). Basically, merely state pick it, and have fun. It’s my opinion in you. While the thing is me down, come state hi!



Self-proclaimed dyke princess Dayna Troisi is actually happy to be relate Editor at GO Magazine. This woman is passionate about lesbian gender + matchmaking, beauty + manner, and her badass bionic arm. Guidance offered in this column is intended for educational reasons just and must maybe not change or replacement any health, or other professional advice or help.